“My Ex Stopped Talking To Me” – What To Do If Your Ex Stops Talking To You

Maintaining some kind of a working relationship is important to a lot of people.  Whether you want to remain friends, have some chance of getting back together or avoid the burden of dealing with an unkind ex, keeping up lines of communication is important.  So if your ex breaks off talking to you, you may feel like it is imperative that the rift between you be healed.

• Write a letter.  You probably send texts, emails and call your ex on a regular basis, but you probably only rarely send a letter through snail mail.  If your ex has decided to stop talking, this is the time to break out the pen and paper.  A physical message carries greater significance and raises the possibility that your ex will at least give it a once over.  If you know why your ex has stopped talking you may wish to apologize for any sins you committed against him/her, in the hopes that will smooth things over.  If your ex has stopped talking because you are seeing someone else, you need to explain your commitment to your ex as a friend and how that will remain unchanged.  If you are unsure as to why your ex has stopped talking, gently inquire and again pledge your loyal friendship.
• Have a third party intervene.  Getting a close or mutual friend to talk to your ex is an excellent, effective means of at least understanding the cause of your relational problems.  You may wish to coach your friend in what to say and what to avoid.  For example, you don’t want mentioned any lingering issues from your past relationship that may further exacerbate any animosity.  And you probably want downplayed the fact that you are seeing someone else.  Once you better understand how your ex is thinking and feeling, you can utilize your intermediary to communicate how important keeping your ex as a trusted friend in your life is.
• Work behind the scenes.  In many cases, a gesture of good will is enough to convince your ex that you repair the breach in your relationship and remain at least friendly.  So if you have information about his/her professional difficulties and personal life, you may wish to work surreptitiously to improve either or both.  If you have the connection, you may wish to offer your ex a better position at a different business.  Of if he/she has a romantic interest in someone, you may want to help your ex hook up with them.  These kinds of actions not only generate an enormous amount of gratitude, but they often help improve deepen your relationship.  After all, it is difficult to remain upset with someone who helped you find your dream job or lover.
• Send your ex a gift.  Choosing the appropriate gift to help dispel any unpleasantness is very important.  You want to show your commitment to your ex as a friend, but may wish to avoid appearing like you want something more than friendship. In most cases, something small and relatively inexpensive that has pertinence to his present life situation is usually a good idea.  If your ex does not respond to this, then you may wish to repeat the gesture with a slightly more valuable present.
• Be direct.  Unless you have done something unspeakably bad to your ex, a direct confrontation is very effective.  You may wish to visit him/her at their home or track them down someplace public, in order to limit the chances of an wild, emotional display.  While you want to be open and honest about how hurt you have been by their lack of communication, you don’t want to come on too strong if they have a valid reason for doing so.  In most cases, a generous, understanding attitude will get you much farther than any sort of dramatic or combative position. 

Romantic relationships that evolve into friendships can be complicated and effort intensive even after the love play has ended.  If you value your friendship with your ex and want to make him or her a continuing part of your life, you will have to gently coax them to do so.

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