My Ex Has Not Contacted Me, Is This The End?

32Relieving your immediate grief is where majority of people focus on after the break up. Most of them do this by initiating contact immediately. Little do they know that this kind of approach does not necessarily work for everyone. Not because it worked for your friend, doesn’t mean it should work for you too.

You have to consider that no person thinks exactly alike and reacts in the same manner. It has to do something with their level of maturity, their logic, their personality and the timeframe of their just-shattered relationship. However you go around this reconciliation, the actions will matter to both. Bear in mind, you are on the same page, you are both suffering, it may not be transparent from both parties but you’re both feeling it the same.

Why My Ex Has Not Contacted Me

There could be a variety of reasons as to why your ex has not contacted you, yet the justification of that remains on the nature of the break up and the depth of the relationship. NO CONTACT is often employed to regain self-power. To feel good about one’s self again after the break up then when they have composed and satisfied themselves of the temporary singlehood, they bounce back to the ex and try to work things out in a more subtle and mature manner. Maybe you’re both waiting for each other to initiate the contact, more often than not, the one who broke it off is expected to start the contact, yet it doesn’t really matter who dumped who or who contacts who first. It’s perfectly okay to be one to initiate contact if you got dumped as long as you are “civilized” and “mature” human beings and level headed enough to converse with your ex.

What to Do When My Ex Has Not Contacted Me

Total zero contact may mean he or she is not ready to talk yet, meaning they are still either still coping from the stress and pain or is dating a new person already. Both the criteria is temporary. Especially applicable to long term relationships, sometimes it takes time for someone to gather their wits and be brave enough to sort out the problem. Compromise plays a role when initiating contact, how do you know she/he’s ready when you are? If you have been broken up for an extended period of time say 2-3 months, it is not healthy to still be avoiding contact. It becomes crucial and if none of you steps up to initiate contact, your relationship is as good as gone. Don’t stress it too much, just follow your instincts and I’m sure things will work out just fine.

Couples who’re engaged or living together require a certain level of contact to be maintained after the break up. Besides if you have been together for such a long time, the break up could probably be a wake up call to break the routine, keeping in touch every now and then will increase your chances of reconciliation. Don’t get freaked out about zero contact or minimal contact, having some time out for yourself can be healthy in a lot of ways. Which you might not realize being overly anxious about how he/she may not talk to you again. Believe me, they will want to talk again, it’s just a matter of time, unless you live far away from each other and neither one of you is moving somewhere, it’ll be a must to achieve some agreement, so you both know where to stand.

Respecting the Time

Counseling and advising relationship for years, I can say that the most case-to-case effective way of getting back with your ex will be no contact.

In whatever circumstance you are, respect the time needed for each person to recover before sitting down and talk again. After all, you don’t achieve any pleasant result when the wounds are still fresh and you start opening boxes, it’s guaranteed to end in mayhem. Whenever the interaction occurs, remember that nothing beats sincerity and respect. For this two you will be able to achieve a far more appropriate environment for the conversation.

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